Elbow Deep, They Said I was Mad...

You have cried over so many things…

I want to taste every tear…

And I can never, ever tell you this…

I love you more than you are allowed to know…

This is one of my favorite personality tests. I like to retake this one every year or so, after I forget the how the answers affect the outcome. Try it! Just answer the questions honestly, write your answers down, then scroll to the bottom for analysis. No cheating!!

1. You are walking through a forest. What is it like? Sunny? Dark? Spooky? Are you on a path or wandering aimlessly? How do you feel? Scared? Calm? Excited?

2. You are not alone on your journey. Who is walking with you?

3. You encounter an animal. Describe the creature. What is your interaction with the animal?

4. Under a tree, you spot a drinking vessel of some kind. Describe it. Is it a cup, a glass, a goblet, something altogether different? What is it made of? What condition is it in? Do you pick it up and take it with you or leave it behind?

5. Now you spy some kind of dwelling between the trees. What is it like? Large? Small? A mansion or a cottage? A palace or a hut? What condition is it in?

6. You walk into the house. You go into the dining area and find the table. Describe what is on or around the table.

7. You exit the dwelling and carry on through the forest until you come to a body of water. What form does this water take? River, ocean, stream, lake, pond? Are the waters calm or rushing? Is the water muddy or clear?

8. How do you choose to cross the body of water?

9. Beyond the water you find a wall. Describe it. Is it high? Low? What is it made of? How far does it stretch in either direction? What is its condition? Do you think you can get over or around the wall? What is on the other side?

ANSWERS!

DON’T CHEAT!

How you describe the forest indicates your attitude toward the environment you live and work in. If the forest is generally benevolent, you feel safe in your surroundings. A dark and scary forest indicates that you feel threatened in your environment.

The person walking with you is the person you feel closest to.

The animal you encounter represents the perceived size of your current problems. How you interact with the animal shows how you choose to deal with your issues.

The drinking vessel indicates your feelings toward material wealth. The stronger or more valuable the cup, the more you value possessions. Whether you pick it up or leave it behind shows how important accumulating wealth is to you.

The house shows how you regard your own status within society. A well-built but humble dwelling shows you are secure in your social standing but don’t see yourself as high-status. A crumbling house can indicate anxiety about your status.

In the dining room, if your answer did not include any people, fruit, or flowers, you are a generally unhappy person.

The water concerns your attitudes toward sex and sexuality. The size of the body of water shows how important sexuality is to you. The movement of the water represents how your sexuality is flowing at the current time. Clear water shows a straight-forward attitude toward sex, while muddy water indicates complications.

In crossing the water, the more water you touch, the more you crave intimacy.

The wall is about your attitudes toward death. If you see the wall as impassable, it is likely you believe death to be the end of life. If you think you can pass the wall, you likely believe in an afterlife. What lies beyond in your answer should give a clear view of how you feel about the afterlife.

Feeling off today, so I was going through my pictures and I found this one that Vagrant Midget did for me. It was for a MySpace milestone, so I only look like Molotov. Vagrant Midget is the beast, because he’s my Big Bad Wolf. The bald man is my husband. If I can ever get him to return the other pics he’s done of me you might get to see what I actually look like n_n

There are four kinds of people in this world, and all of them are monsters. Even you.

Werewolves: Fiercely loyal. Long to be close to other warm bodies. In tune with baser animal instincts. Do not feel like they fit right inside their own skins. Like dark, cave-like rooms and houses. Eat, drink, and fornicate to excess.

Vampires: Eat up attention, love, drama, any emotion. Given to introspection. Feed off of their friends, sometimes harmlessly, sometimes not so much. Romantics, usually.

Zombies: Those who let their emotional baggage get too heavy. They are utterly consumed by sorrow, regret, guilt, and fear. In our modern society, they are often whacked out of their minds on drugs, either prescribed or recreational.

Ghosts: The other half of zombies. When their emotional baggage got too heavy, they just kind of buried it in the back yard. They refuse to think about their negative emotions, to the point of avoiding things that once brought them joy. They shed feelings like a skin and become creatures that are barely there at all, blending into the woodwork.

I have been all of these…you?

I was browsing through the graveyard of files on my computer this morning, and found some things I wrote ages ago. None of it is very good, but I’d still like to preserve some here, where it won’t disappear (like much of my other writing). And now, a history lesson…

A long time ago, when I first ventured onto teh interwebz (2004…yes there is a reason for the wait, no I’m not telling yet), I played around on MySpace. I had a small but loyal following, and my original intention was to use the blog portion of my page to write my stories. One day, thoroughly uninspired, I wanted to write an erotic fan fiction. I sent a cry out into my group of friends and one well-meaning but confused soul challenged me to write one with a crossover between Molotov Cocktease from The Venture Brothers (my internet persona, even then) and D from the anime Vampire Hunter D. If you don’t know who either of these characters are, I’d hit YouTube for a minute or two before proceeding. Here are some links (which I can’t seem to embed). It’s okay, I’ll wait n_n

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMJ6Q-8jnzk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30sedClm3BM

I laughed at the idea at first, but less than an hour later I had finished a good portion of my story and was not completely displeased with the result of the mash-up…so here goes! Oh, one more thing. The last (and best…and only actual sex parts!) portion of the story is only summarized, due to act of bitchy laptop n_n’ To be clear, this erotica contains NO ACTUAL SEX!

                                        Molotov’s Naked D-Lite

The tall man came through the door of the tavern and was greeted with the usual flurry of stares and whispers. Word traveled fast in these small towns, and word of D was legend. All eyes in the room were on him, until stunned gazes turned to the massive blade that he wore. All eyes but one…

The slender redhead sat alone, seemingly oblivious to the tavern’s new occupant. She held a crystal goblet in one hand, swirling the red liquid contents gently and staring absently into the fire. A secretive smile curved on her ruby lips, her beauty unmarred by the patch over her left eye. D reflexively placed a hand on his sword. Everything about this woman screamed “danger” to his instincts, and though he could not be sure, he thought her skin had a distinctly undead caste to it. He helped himself to a seat at her side. She turned her gaze to him, then, and he was struck by the cold power in her one good eye.

“How do you come,” he asked, hand still on his sword.

“That depends on who is coming with me. Relax vampire-man. You are not fast enough to cut me anyway, not with that antique. See?” She smiled sweetly and cast her eye downward. He thought she was being coy, until he followed her gaze to the small blade she had unobtrusively pressed to his side. A subtle twitch upward and she would spear his heart. And yet…

“Why are you here?”

She drew a cigarette from a silver case and lit it. Smoke drifted seductively from her lips as she replied, “Why are any of us here? To be more specific, I was involved in a mission so secretive that even I was not informed of certain…temporal distortion properties. Time shifting machines do not handle rapid gunfire very well.”

“You are from another time then?”

“Amazing…tall, dark, handsome, and smart,” her sarcasm was not lost on him.

He sighed, “Stop trying to impress me. I get it, you’re a hard-ass. But I can also tell that you are only speaking to me now because I have something that you need. You know who I am, don’t you?”

Her good eye glared at him, “Don’t flatter yourself. I have no interest in you.”

He grinned at her attempt at nonchalance, “Then how did you know to call me ‘vampire-man’, my little red one?”

Her shoulders relaxed a little. This man was no fool, “Alright…yes, I have heard that you may be my only hope of returning to my own time. I wanted to see you for myself before I decided to ask for your help. It is my understanding that you work for pay…this is not a new concept to me, but I have no money here…” She laid a slender fingered hand on his sword arm. He tensed, untrusting. “I know how this game works, and what the price will be. I just wanted to meet you to see if I am willing to pay you the usual price.”

He shuddered inwardly as her strangely attractive eye rested on his, ‘Gods help anyone who knew her when she had two of those,’ he thought. He shook her hand off and leaned close, “I do not accept such offers from damsels in distress. I will only take what is offered freely.”

Her laughter rang out, drawing unwelcome attention to their conversation, “Distress? Listen, you sad excuse for a bloodsucker. I could own this land easily if I chose to stay here, especially if you are this hell hole’s only champion! As it stands, I have pressing matters that require my attention back home. I am NOT distressed!”

He shot her a glance, eyes gleaming wickedly, “I’m glad you said that!” He grabbed her arm harshly and dragged her outside…

She stumbled after him, struggling to keep up with his long strides.

“Well! This is more like it! You are called D, yes? My name is Molotov.” She laughed her throaty laugh, “I thought you wouldn’t accept offers of the flesh from hapless damsels?”

He pulled her to his side and leapt, gracefully landing on the roof of the tavern, “Shhh…look.”

The door opened below them and a man staggered out drunkenly. When he was a fair distance from the tavern, he looked around as if searching for something, then kicked the dirt angrily. He straightened up and Molotov got her first good look at his face. She knew this man…

She grabbed D’s arm in a vise-like grip, “Move…NOW!”

D grabbed Mol’s thin body and jumped, reality becoming a blur to the woman’s mortal eyes. He landed noiselessly on the back of an odd mix of animal and metal, D’s ferocious mechanized steed. He placed Mol in front of him and spurred the creature on at full gallop just as the tavern exploded behind them. She pressed close to his body and realized that the rumors were true…the man felt cold to the touch. Undead. What had she gotten herself into?

When they had ridden until D judged them safe from prying eyes, he slowed his mount and offered Mol his hand. She waved him away and flipped off the beast’s back in an effortless, fluid motion.

“Sorry…I am not much so much of a lady that I need a gentleman’s help”

“That man was following you. Why does he want you dead?”

She leaned against a nearby tree, sighed, and lit another smoke, “I guess I had better start from the beginning. But if I show you mine, you have to show me yours…”

(This last bit explains itself n_n’)

“That does it! This computer blows! I just tried to post the end of my story, and *poof*! An hour of work totally lost! I give up. Too mad to go on…”

(And later, after trying an unsuccessful rewrite with no notes…)

“Since the comp ate my story (after too much time writing), and I refuse to rewrite all of that, I will give you the brief rundown of all I accomplished…

Mol explains to D that she is an assassin who was hired to infiltrate an enemy base and find a machine with a certain design on it. She draws it in the sand for him and he immediately recognizes it. Remember Count Magnus Lee? His daughter, Lamika, had a ring with the same crest…but what ever happened to her, anyway?
So they figure out, together, that they need to team up, get to the past (D is set 10,000 years in the future, by the way…I looked it up) and stop Lamika from screwing with the space-time continuum. They get closer on their journey (much closer, once the face on D’s hand puts in its first appearance and deftly picks the lock on her chastity belt…with its tongue! AND it talks dirty to her! Ooooh!), and they go to the ruins of Magnus Lee’s castle only to find a gaping vortex where there should have been an impressive pile ‘o rubble. They jump in, return to this time…blah blah blah…they find Lamika, who was doing this all for D’s love, and she hates Mol for hanging all over him. Mol kills her in a VERY creative way (which I refuse to post, so I can reuse it in my next story), and D finds himself in love with Mol…tragically, because then Brock shows up to “rescue” her and they leave D to find his own way home. THE END. Well, hope you liked it, cuz these crossovers are hard to do! My apologies to Psycho for this shortened version of his idea…Bye”

(You know what the worst part is? I never wrote down the death scene. Not one note. Probably one of the coolest scenes I’ve ever written, and it has been utterly erased from existence. *Sigh*)

Do you like seafood?

What curse word do you say most often?

Do you have cats?

What are your plans this weekend?

Are you a good singer?

What is your biggest pet peeve?

What actress do you think is the prettiest?

Have you ever thought about running away?

What is the nearest pink object?

What are your talents?

There! That should be enough for me to see how this thing works n_n